|Charlie 20 months|
It comes down to the "busy" thing. For a long while we are identified relative to other people. We are our parent's children and our spouse's wives. We are a member of this team, that band, this high school, or that college. We work within this organization. Over time we might be identified by slightly more individual choices, traits or strengths. We go to that church; we teach this subject; we bake this cookie; we are terrible at miniature golf.
|Megan 1 week|
Things get really sticky if you quit your job although I get the general impression that this is an issue for everyone who makes the transition to mother.
|Megan 2 years|
|Noah 1 week|
I am highly unlikely to have 6 children. Allen has quite strong opinions on the matter. I have a bit more in the way of options for self identity than that mother of 6. I could re-busy. My children could happily swirl about the mother who is identified by the external. But, I'd rather grow.
|Megan 1 week|
who you are
When you are dropped into the middle of a foreign country with nothing but time you have no option but to abandon the busy. I think I would have gotten to the same point eventually but Ireland really accelerated the process. So, let me share with you, the stay at home mom trying to figure why you are so very busy but still feel so very lost, the busy will never identify you.
Let go of the busy.
It's scary but you can do it and you will be stronger for it. Then you have the delightful option to do because you want to not because you simply must. Life with littles is loud and hectic and this will take time but it will come and in that moment you have while you're rocking the baby or patting the restless toddler or stirring the mac-n-cheese, think about not what you would rather be doing but instead what you are. Listen to that small, quiet voice of your soul. You might not like all the answers but at least you'll know where things stand; strengthen what you like and try to soften what you don't.
I don't have a job title; I'm not a perfect housekeeper; my children are quirky; I bake a mean cookie but that really doesn't serve as complete self identity. Instead...
|Noah 2 months|